I have another blog where this post currently lives, but I figured this would be a good place for it too. A major step in becoming a happy, healthy person is learning to love yourself no matter what you see in the mirror. Physical health is important, but mental health and confidence are huge in helping you become the best version of yourself.

Today, a boy called me a hoe because I chose to send a snap to a friend of mine that featured myself in a crop top and shorts. This boy wants to date me, but he immediately wanted to clarify that he didn’t want to be one of my “thirst trap boys” and the fact that I have friends I send those types of pictures to is a “major turn off” for him. Needless to say, I’m not even toying with the option of dating this boy now, but the comments got worse.

Not only did he say he didn’t want to be one of those boys, but he called me a “self-righteous” c-word for saying that I didn’t want a relationship with him at the moment. For context, this boy and I have been talking for MAYBE three weeks, and I said in our very first conversation that I didn’t want a long distance relationship, and I made sure to bring it up in later conversations in case he thought I was leading him on by being flirtatious. Apparently, that wasn’t enough for him.

I say all this to point out that guys still don’t understand that women can express their sexuality for reasons other than their own personal gratification. For me, I hated my body all through middle and high school, and I still have moments where I can’t stand looking in a mirror. On the days when I don’t feel that way, I choose to put on cute outfits, doll myself up, and show off a little because I’m happy. On my bad body image days, I question if I’m even worth loving because I feel repulsive and gross. I appreciate my good days even more after those because that’s when I realize I am a child made in God’s perfect image, and He doesn’t make mistakes. I feel beautiful in my own skin, and if I want to show that off, I’m not going to let anyone stop me. I’m not going to let a boy who doesn’t even have the decency to make these comments to my face decide what I can or can’t post online or send to my friends. I will admit, hearing other people say I’m beautiful or that my outfit looks good is a boost to my self-esteem, which may be where the anger and “hoe” comments came from on his end, but I don’t take those pictures for that purpose. I send and save those pictures to remind myself on my bad days that I look WAY better when I’m happy and taking care of myself, and I use that as a motivation to start putting effort into myself again when I get into a slump so bad I can’t even get out of bed to brush my teeth. It’s a reminder that my looks aren’t who I am. Who I am is Whose I am, and that’s something I need to remember.

So this is just a short reminder that you are FREE to express yourself as you see fit. If you’re the kind of person who spends all their time at the beach and posts swimsuit pictures on the daily, I LOVE that for you. If you’re the kind of person who would rather be modest and show no skin at all, you’re doing AMAZING. If you post nudes on Twitter for your followers to see, dude you GO. Your body is YOURS and yours alone. Don’t let anyone tell you how you should or shouldn’t be seen. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

If you want to see this post in its original location, check out my blog Perfect Periwinkle!